Week 3

There goes Week 3, and here comes the new intake of juniors.. REAL juniors. The last batch were the degree holders, so.. they abang-abang/kakak-kakak junior while we were adik-adik senior.

The past three weeks have been a rollercoaster. Most of the time, things are quite hectic or busy to the point that it felt weird to have free time last Wednesday. It was just, unusual.. For the first time I could think - what should/can I do now - rather than what do I need to do. Ironically, weekends are the busiest most of the time.. Weekdays are more slowpaced, at the expense of late nights.

Anyway, this weekend will be pretty quiet back here in the dormitory. The dancers have gone off to Sibu for the Borneo Cultural Festival while our Muslim friends have gone for a Kem Ibadah/Pembangunan Jati Diri.

Basically, we, the untalented non-Muslims are left to fend for ourselves.. muahahaha, we are the rulerssssssssssss of Block D!! (ok, sounds quite pathetic. but please bare with me. i'm not used to having free time)

Sometimes I wish I could write out everything in here.. but at the same time, some things aren't appropriate to be displayed in public. Sometimes, somethings are better left in the heart. Otherwise, one may take pride in displaying the best things..

Pffffffttt.. what am I saying? I don't know.

Or maybe I do, but I don't know if you do.

Or maybe I should put it in other words.

Ahhhh.

Well, what's personal should be left personal eh?

Anyway, I a fair bit.. so, one way or another - it'll still come out :D

I'm missing home! Friends! Arggghhh..

I'll only be coming in September, for reasons valid enough to stop me from returning in August. Sorry yeah, I told people I'm coming back in August.

Wohooooo, balik kampung untuk Raya!! ;D

It's hard to believe that the body that once moonwalked is now lifeless and still.

The man whom I watched over and over again for hours, is not gone.

It's hard hard to believe..

It's hard to believe.

Week 2 + 3.5

Week 2 was good.. I was quite happy, thinking that things weren't TOO fast paced. But whoooaaa... wait till Week 3 started.

I seriously thank God for waking me up.. I don't know how on earth I woke up at 7.15am without an alarm and while my roommate was still sleeping. I quickly rushed to wash up, iron my clothes (accidentally slept the night before, therefore didn't manage to iron) and rush to class.

The hostel's going to be very quiet this weekend.. Dancers are going to Sibu for Borneo Cultural Festival while our muslim friends are going for a camp.

I was very tired and weary yesterday.. there just seems to no rest. As pastor said, it is the flesh complaining. Indeed my body felt so tired - so young but yet so little energy, tired all the time.

Pslams 73:4-5 came alive to me..

They [the wicked] have no struggles;
their bodies are healthy and strong.
They are free from the burdens common to man;
They are no plagued by human ills.

Will there ever be rest? Will life be full of problems? Is what I see and what I'm going through.. the only future that I have - a future without rest?

Then later I was reminded of what He says.. Isaiah 40:28-31

Do you not know?
Have you not heard?
The Lord is the everlasting God,
the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He will not grow tired or weary,
and his understanding no one can fathom.
He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.
Even youths grow tired and weary,
and young men stumble and fall;
but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and no be faint.

I can testify how sometimes I feel that.. "Ahhhn.. Let me rest first, I'll spend time with God later," or "I need to gain back my energy, then I can have a proper quiet time with God".

But, remember.. it is always temptation for you to slack off, to backslide..

Don't! Be careful of the troubles and trials you face! Do not let them become an excuse! They are like a fire, purifying your faith and strengthening you.

Continue, persist and march on.. do not give up seeking the Lord!

Yesterday, I was so tired.. but after spending time with the Lord, I was so uplifted in the spirit that my whole body didn't feel tired!

Allow God to lift your spirit, and your soul and body will lifted as well.

This is something I need to remind myself too.. busyness is not an excuse to spend less time with God. God allowed everything to happen to you, for a reason.. He did not make any mistake, He did not forget about you.

So the burdens you have, the troubles you carry upon your shoulder.. Surrender it to Him, He will never fail you. He will never give you something that He knows you can't carry.

It says up there that no one can fathom his understanding.

What does it mean?

We can't imagine how much God understands us!

You're tired? Well, the person next to you will only understand you as much as you tell him or her, and as much as he is able to imagine it.

But God knows pure well everything you're going through..

So don't be disheartened. God has not forsaken you.. take heart in His unfailing love and faithfulness to you and every promise that He has made.

Amen! :)

..for love covers a multitude of sin.

I'll be frank, Week 1 was horrible. I cried my eyes out because of many different reasons (or some people would simply blame it on hormones) and I felt so unorganised, overwhelmed, stressed, tired.. you name it - I felt it!

But God's faithfulness endures forever..

Slowly, things begin to show hope.. Things are more managable and some relationship problems slowly settled.

I'm so thankful!! Praise be to God!! Hallelujah!!

His love endures forever.. Amen!

Continue to claim His promises and declare His greatness and power even when your strength is failing you.. He will not put you to shame. He will rescue you from the deepest pits.

God does not make mistakes. So whatever that comes your way, remember:

1) God does not give you more than you can bear
2) Every circumstance is to draw you closer to God
3) Your Father in Heaven is bigger than your problems
4) God knows how much strength you need for the day

Praise God! I met up with Julie and Wei Zhen.. and I had a blast! Laughing until my stomach ached. Now when was the last time I had that???

Amen.. God is good, all the time. Through the good and the bad, His faithfulness endures forever.

Amen.

Week 0.5

Right now I'm only halfway through the first week.. but it feels busy already. The other day, I nearly cried when my friends tricked me into believing that I was the assistant monitor.

Somehow knowing the right thing to do.. is even harder here.

I somehow couldn't bring myself to thank God with all the frustration.

Anyhow, I feel this semester didn't start right. But I need to thank God or how am I able to be thankful for even better things..

The little kitten is back.. and I'm so happy! I've been wondering where it's been hiding..

Anyway, I know that there's so much to learn.. not only in terms of academic. This will be a tough semester ahead, a big lesson learnt after underestimating last sem.

I know I can't do it on my own.. only by His strength and grace alone.

Back with the Hornbills

I'm so exhausted.. the last few days have been a marathon.

Sleep late. Wake up early. Sleep late. Wake up early.

Go here, go there.

Talk here, talk there.

Oh Lord.. I'm desperate.

An insignificant title

For the past few days, I've been really tired and exhausted. I've come to the 'Create Post' page many times, but end up deleting everything.. with a "Ahhh, forget it lah. Not worth mentioning,".

A mixture of happenings, frustrations, reflection, fears, resolutions.. I wouldn't feel satisfied blogging about each separately cause.. well, it wouldn't make a decent post.

So anyway, here's what been happening..

Renovation! Dust! Cement! Knock here, knock there. Grumble here, grumble there. Somehow I just wish that we didn't do any renovation at all. But, I'm sure all the hard work and trouble will be worth it.. once the house is clean.

My brother! This little kuci rat got himself a Nokia 5800. Yes, the full touch screen model which Ghaffar has. A Standard 5 boy, I tell you! Need to really pray for him that he won't abuse it or get addicted to all the games inside.

I've been really fearful of driving.. I can imagine so clearly hitting into a car, head-on. One day I remembered that it could have been caused by the incident in Form 3.. when the lady who picked me back - Ms. Ong, turned into the wrong lane and crashed into another car head-on. And also cause by the incident when I reversed into another car.

I tell you.. Sometimes I just pray the whole way!

I've been wanting to visit my grandaunty and Aunty Nor.. Aunty Nor has always been so close to heart. I think I've blogged about how sometimes I wonder if I'll see her the next time she comes back. But praise God! She is still alive! Hallelujah! I must see her before I return to Sarawak, I want to give her the Bario rice I bought for her :)

I've also been wanting to meet up with school friends and church friends. But time's so limited as I spent 2 weeks in JB, and a number are not on holiday. Oh well, I've just gotta make do with whatever's possible.

Reflecting back on what has happened throughout the whole 2 weeks.. I realise that I need so much help in being patient. I lose my temper so quickly with my family members, when they are the ones whom God has given me to love (and also to teach me to love).

This is why I said that whoever marries me at this point.. would suffer. Because when I lose my temper or grow impatient, I can get very cold and snappy, saying hurtful things which scar the heart.

Ps. Philips raised some interesting questions in his sermon on Sunday.. oh well, but it's not something I'd discuss here.

Mmmm.. Mmmm.. my butt's getting sore and I've gotta help my mum print something.

"TTFN - Tata For Now!" says Tigger

Subang, the land of traffic jams

Back at home but.. it's been so busy and tiring.

My feet have been hurting so badly.

Going back this Saturday.

Now I wonder, do I rest more during holidays or normal days?

Aih..

Maybe I rest best during study breaks.

HALLELUJAH!

JB Hospital

I'll be staying for another week, while my parents and brother go back.

Guess what my grandma's watching..

World Wrestling Entertainment, WWE.

I had NO idea.

My little nephew, my cousin's son..

HELP!

My mother labelled me as OLD FASHIONED.